flesh | forgiveness | sin | weakness

I’m no Different From Men Who Prefer Men

January 28, 2021

 A few days back, an enigmatic question pop inside my head, “Why do gay men prefer men?” 

I acknowledge this topic is sensitive. People are easily offended these days. No judgment. Just plain curiosity. I simply want to understand the why and see it from a different point of view.

To quench my quizzical mind, I did a quick google search. Turns out I wasn’t alone in my quest.

I read the varying answers online, but I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted more. So I turn to a friend, who responsed, “I can’t help it. I’m naturally attracted to men. I’m born this way.”

It’s pointless to go further than that. I gave up finding a satisfactory answer and put my inquisitorial mind to rest. 

Then one day, a thought hit my brain cells like a bucket of ice water whacking my head. All this time, the answer was hidden within my friend’s statement.

Everyone has fleshly desires. We are born that way because of sin. We inherited it from our first parents, Adam and Eve.

(Not unless you insist on having monkeys as ancestors.)

Just because we don’t act in a certain way doesn’t mean we’re better off than others. I’m no different from men who prefer men or vice versa. I’m also no different from the man who undresses a woman passing by.

Oh, come on. Let’s stop acting like hypocrites. How about we do a quick survey to scrutinize how sinless we truly are.

Do you struggle with the lust of the flesh?

How about the lust of the eyes?

Or the pride of life? 

All of us fall short. We are born sinners, including the best of the best. Yes, the Apostle Paul wrestled with his flesh too. Read his words below.

O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

~ Romans 7:4

We know that the Law is spiritual, but I am a creature of the flesh [worldly, self-reliant—carnal and unspiritual], sold into slavery to sin [and serving under its control]. For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. (Romans 7:14-15 AMP)

Can we fight against the raging waters of this humanistic, carnal desire?

The flesh cannot overcome flesh. And it’s not right to say, people haven’t tried hard enough either. Willpower alone cannot win against it. We need God’s power, Holy Spirit dwelling-inside-us power to help us.

God’s Spirit will be like a dam pushing back the mighty currents of carnality. Through Him, we can win.

That’s why judging others for what they are won’t do any good. This only causes division and offense and hurt. Followers of Christ are not called to condemn. (Romans 8:1) Sure, awareness of sin is vital for repentance. But reproach isn’t the way of love. 

You might argue. People need to be informed of what’s right from wrong. Except…. they do know whether they acknowledge it or not. Read Romans 1:18-19

Rather than speak or preach judgment, share about God’s greatest act of love at the cross instead. God desires we testify of the transforming love we receive from Him. And share how it freed us from the slavery and control of sensual passions.

Love is the way, not judgment.

Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? (Romans 2:4)

Also, this overcoming is a partnership between two parties. God’s power inside us will be in vain if we don’t take possession of it. You may be the heir of a trillionaire but if you don’t know how to withdraw money from that account, you’re no better than that neighbor struggling in debt.

This means, our walk as a follower of Christ is vital if we want to win against our fleshly desires.


Born unspiritual, we are sold as slaves to sin, serving under its control. However,

Freedom is possible through God’s power.

To do that, one must be born again so the Spirit of God can dwell inside us. This happens by acknowledging we are sinners, asking God for forgiveness and inviting the Lord Jesus Christ in our hearts as our personal Lord and Saviour. It’s that simple.

For that which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. (John 3:6) And where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Corinthians 3:17)

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